The "bears" pranks or the escalation of violence? Pedagogues evaluate: Forms evolved

Peer force is simply a real problem. It comes to where hormones are buzzing - in the school corridor, in the yard, and now besides online. Parents, pedagogues, and lately, even the head of state talk about it. Although Andrzej Duda stressed that although the fights "are not okay", in his opinion they are not different either.- Everyone knows that boys, especially boys as strong, as men, as young as they are, like to jerk and act a small bit like small bears or small tigers. They're just fighting. It is nothing unusual," said Andrzej Duda in a conversation with Bogdan Rymanowski on Radio Zet. The President's words warmed up and divided the public.
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Andrzej Gryżewski, a psychotherapist, a sexologist, author of books on manhood and relationships wrote an open letter to Andrzej Duda on social media, in which he appealed not to "analyze violence". "This quote, spoken in public space by the head of the state, not only analyses violence, but - in a broader context - rationalizes participation in violent fights of the alleged bills, which were attended by Karol Nawrocki, a candidate for president of the Republic of Poland. In this way, you perpetuate the socially harmful story that aggression is an inherent component of manhood, and force is simply a form of puberty - he wrote. He besides added that "as a psychotherapist and sexologist working with men" knows, "how much suffering this model of upbringing brings," and that patients "who learned in their childhood and youth that anger must be discharged with punches, and masculinity is built by dominance and fear, present they pay a advanced price for it". What can bring specified a model of upbringing? According to Gryżewski, not only the loneliness, depression, addiction or problems in building relationships, but besides the adoption of this model of life and as a consequence becoming a perpetrator of violence.

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Bears and tigers in the school hallway. force and marginalisationDomination among peers is simply a process in which an individual or group tries to gain an advantage on others: psychological, physical or social. And sometimes all of them. In young boys, it frequently takes the form of competition, border testing, embarrassing the weaker, or imposing fun rules. It's besides force to enter a circumstantial model of a "hard" boy, unmoved, strong. A kid who does not comply with these standards may be rejected or pushed to the margins of the group. Attempts of peer domination are not a fresh phenomenon, but inactive stay a subject that requires understanding. Especially at a time erstwhile conventional manhood patterns clash with fresh models of emotional sensitivity and openness. - Biological, emotional and social changes are natural and developmental during puberty. A kid of a teenage age wants to emphasize his individuality and mark his membership in the group, building his own identity - explains Anna Chmielewski, a pedagogue. "The boys in peculiar show physical strength, especially in the area of fitness and sports competition or even any kind of push," added our talker.


The evolution of form. "Shrewdness and cyber-violence"The foundations of the request for dominance are frequently low self-esteem, deficiency of control in another areas of life (e.g. in relationships with adults), but besides socio-cultural expectations towards boys. "Boys don't cry", "man must be tough" patterns inactive work in many environments. And for those raised in specified patterns, dominance becomes the only known way to gain designation and belonging. However, in a planet which, especially among young audiences, has moved to the online sphere, forms of force besides take on fresh forms. Power manifestations are no longer limited to the real world, but, as Chmielewski says, "they grow significantly, moving to the digital sphere." The forms of showing strength in the boys have evolved strongly. The strength is manifested to a large degree in impressing in the network: humor, cleverness, unfortunately besides cyber-violence and another dangerous behaviours - explains the pedagogues. This can be seen not only in social media, but besides in online games. The costs are huge. And for the victims, and for the perpetrators, it is worth stressing one more time that both the dominant boys and those who submit to dominance bear emotional costs. For any it is simply a fear of losing position, constant vigilance and aggression, for others it is simply a sense of exclusion, shame, helplessness. Over time, this can lead to problems with emotional regulation, anxiety disorders, depression, and to continued patterns of force in adult life. Parents and educators face a hard decision: how do they respond to specified behavior? The most crucial thing is not to ignore them and not normalize them. "Adults play an highly crucial function in this area. It is crucial to show teenagers what real strength is, that it does not include dominance or physicality, but above all a sense of responsibility, concern for others and the ability to admit to mistake - explains Anna Chmielewski.


It is highly crucial that adults do not strengthen dominant behaviour by comments like "don't let yourself, show who's in charge", but alternatively support emotional diversity and teach alternate strategies to build up position in the group. This is besides what he calls for in his letter to the head of the state Andrzej Gryżewski and asks that eten "support emotional education, counter force and advance a model of a man who does not gotta beat anyone to feel his worth", due to the fact that "manhood can be mature, conscious, empathic. And Poland needs just specified men". Do you think that in Poland toxic models of manhood are promoted? Or do you think that trying to dominate boys and young men is not dangerous and necessary? We encourage you to share your opinion. All stories can be sent to: [email protected]