A retreat for parents after losing a kid in the Sanctuary of Divine Mercy

On 15–17 August 2024, a retreat was held at the Shrine of Divine Mercy in Kraków-Łagiewniki for parents who were mourning the failure of their child. The three-day prayer gathering organized by the Polish Association of Defenders of Human Life and the pastoral service of the Families of the Lost Children of the Archdiocese of Krakow brought together many parents who sought spiritual support and comfort at this hard time for them.

The retreats were addressed to parents of children who died before birth, during childbirth and later stages of development. The program included the Eucharist, the Way of the Cross, the Way of Light, the Liturgy of the Hours and the Eucharistic adoration. Rev. Janusz Kościelniak, the diocesan pastor of families of lost children, led the retreat, and the intellectual conferences were given by Paweł Gozdek, a psychotraumatologist.

Fr.Dr. Janusz Kościelniak pointed out the individual relation with God and its importance in the context of religion and suffering. He pointed to key aspects of God’s image, the function of prayer and religion in the face of difficulties. He emphasized the importance of God’s personal, surviving experience as individual with whom to have a real relationship, not only to treat Go as an abstract, distant force:

“What image of God should we have in ourselves? The first is to realize that God is simply a person. It's very important. Then he's not any kind of force or energy, he's just a individual like all of us. And the individual is individual with whom we can enter into dialogue, that is, we can talk to God.”

Prayer should be sincere, which includes both thanksgiving and expression of pain or doubt:

“Prayer—coming to God the Father, that is besides coming with what we carry in our heart. So frequently with remorse, frequently with specified an interior question why. Sometimes our prayer will simply be to be before God, to kneel down and to say in our hearts, «God, you know what I have in my heart. You can heal it, you can guide me.”

Fr Janusz Kościelniak quoted a moving communicative about a boy who took his own life. He told of the dramatic minute erstwhile the boy called his father just before he did this tragic act. Father, busy work, couldn't talk then, and promised to call back later. Unfortunately, erstwhile he tried to make contact again, it was besides late. He pointed out the large pain and guilt that the father had in his heart, wondering if he could change anything if he had taken a call from his child.

“There have been questions that have tormented this father so much: ‘And if I were to answer the telephone and talk to him, could I change something?’” This question leads to 2 crucial points. The first is to realize that despite all efforts, there was no way to save the kid at the time. The second is to accept that the love and care that a father has given to his kid throughout his life is of large importance. This guilt is hard to bear, but it is crucial to realize that parents did their best.”

Fr Janusz Kościelniak recalled the deep support that God gives in moments of top suffering. He stressed that even in the darkest moments erstwhile our hearts are full of pain and doubt, God remains close to us as a tender Father:

“God is our Father, who not only sees our tears, but besides collects them and transforms them into grace. erstwhile we experience pain, erstwhile our hearts are torn, He's close. Whenever we feel lost, God is with us, like a tender Father who is always willing to comfort us and lead us. Our prayer, even if full of pain and doubt, is precious. Let us believe that our words are obeyed and that God, in his infinite love, will lead us through the darkest moments until the light of hope."

The retreat took place in an atmosphere of deep prayer and reflection, giving parents space for spiritual renewal and shared experience of pain. Each associate could receive formation materials. This gathering was not only a time of prayer, but besides an chance to experience and support together in the face of tragedy.

jb