"At that point, I rejected all the erstwhile authorities that I carried out from home and accepted this online “grip”. I became an utmost anti-clericist, specified a militant atheist-feminist... I told myself how many of my friends I was bisexual due to the fact that it was in fashion. We besides said that since we don't like each other, we're most likely lesbians. We were disgusted by the thought of physical intimacy with the boys, looking for affection and knowing in women. I utilized to trust on subjective summaries of reality presented by left-wing radicals from abortion and LGBT. This has nothing to do with the truth.”
Laura Lipińska: Tell me about yourself. Who are you, what do you do, why do you like to stay anonymous? Why did you come to us?
“Joanna”: I am almost 30 years old, I come from south-western Poland, I utilized to be “a flash” – I supported abortion movements, i.e. “end life” and LGBT. At times I could even describe myself as a bisexual and always a feminist. I work with kids now. I want to stay anonymous due to having my own household and due to my profession, due to the fact that in my position pro-life and antilgbt views are very out of fashion today, according to many sexist and homo- and transphobic. For example, rainbow Fridays are organized in the institutions with which I am and was associated, and pedagogues are frequently indelicately asked to usage a fresh name and changed pronouns incompatible with their sex. Conservative views are not welcome here. In my work with children I do not discuss the subjects of my own views, I think that the function of educator or educator is not only to teach, but above all to form sensitivity, creative thinking, morality, empathy and the strong character of children. Public institutions are not to feed students with questionable ideologies, very frequently not supported by their parents. I object to that, but I don't want to lose my job, hence my request for anonymity. In this interview, I would like to share my experience of mental, emotional and spiritual healing from left-wing propaganda.
LL: You raised a very interesting subject about pronouns. Could you dig it up? What's it like in your school? Are teachers forced to usage imaginary pronouns on children?
“J”: Teachers do not have much to say. Usually, the subject begins with the directorate, but it besides sometimes comes from a school educator or psychologist, to whom the kid comes, for example, with a decision and the support of his parents, to mention to him with a fresh name, usually the other sex or pronouns of the kind “they”. Let's say that teachers are persuaded to address the kid in this way, and if you don't, then you have quite a few parents or directors on your back. We're even afraid of repercussions from the parole board. Unfortunately, it's very small spoken of in public media, and sometimes there's a scandal that individual called the baby his real name alternatively of the fresh one. The teachers are either afraid, or they are progressive themselves and find that everything is fine.
This is what it looks like in the schools I worked at. Transsexual propaganda (or else it's not called) is spreading more and more. In fact, you yourself recommended a book on this subject – “Irreparable harm”. The situation in Poland is not so drastic yet, but it is coming. A large wave of hurt and self-inflicted, broken lives, due to the fact that that is all this ideology carries. I'm watching young people in the media due to the fact that it's my function too, and I want to see what young people live, what's crucial to them, what makes them think. And what I see is frightening.
LL: Foundation released any time ago a legal opinion on forcing teachers to usage pronouns incompatible with the real sex. This is illegal under Polish law. You can find it on our website. Returning to the main subject – what did your childhood look like? What home did you grow up in?
"J": I was raised in a very, very close, loving, Catholic family. My father was religious, he was never ashamed of his faith, his authority was Saint John Paul II. He was empathetic, yet demanding. My parent was not that much a believer before she met him, but after the marriage, it changed, and my siblings and I were raised in faith. I sang in school and solo at Masses for children, went on trips to sanctuaries with my family, subscribed to Catholic magazines for children. I talked to God all day, and I remember that I believed in Mary as my second mother. My parent even told me this very often: “Mary is your second mother, address her whenever you request to”.
Everything changed after my father died. He died erstwhile I was a young teenager and the mourning of him coincided with my puberty. I remember that during my first confession after my father's funeral, my favourite priest explained to me the meaning of my father's death, but in specified a harsh and insensitive way that I was offended by this man. As a teenager with a hormonal storm, I looked at everything zero-one: 1 of the authorities lets me down, so I abandon him, cross him off my life and look for another. akin reasoning occurs in girls from broken families who are in crisis, and now there are more and more. At the time, I lost 1 by 1 2 authorities: my father and my favourite clergyman.
I was in junior advanced at the time, and about that time my friend from the bench sent me translated into Polish videos, in which people mocked Christianity, Catholic rites and faith. We watched it on pauses and felt the thrill of something somewhat forbidden, breaking conventions, contrary to what we were raised in. Just a teenage rebellion. It's like a drug for teenagers. I showed 1 of these videos to my mom, and I thought she'd be very upset, and I thought she'd effort to explain why what I'm watching might be a bad influence on me. I needed specified a confrontation with an adult who would say, “Look, it is not good for you, it destroys your roots.” My mom didn't do it, she went back to her own business and her father's grief. I was left alone with my thoughts, in a rebellious environment full of antiquity, left-wing slogans. “Our class” and “ask.fm” featured many specified content: pictures, posts, music.
At 1 point, I hit a fan site for any avant-garde band. Young people were equally involved: 15 years, any a small older. Most of them described themselves as homosexual or bisexual. They wrote a lot about the deficiency of tolerance for people like them in Poland and about the expected organization homophobia. Right side teens like me considered the world's top evil, without going into detail, without verifying this opinion, whether she has any reflection in reality. 90% of the people in these forums were young girls, very lonely, without friends in real life, girls after any trauma, with broken families, very prone to manipulation. We were desperate, looking for acceptance, love, a willing talker. At that point, I rejected all the erstwhile authority that I had taken out of my home and accepted this online “grip”. I became an utmost anti-clericist, specified a militant atheist-feminist, but only in the online sphere, I had no courage to go out with people.
I told myself how many of my friends I was bisexual due to the fact that it was in fashion. We considered ourselves very unattractive and thought that no boy would always be curious in us. We thought the boys were brutal, stupid and immature. We thought that nobody understood us, that it is not worth believing anyone who does not share our views, we must be locked in our own world. We besides said that since we don't like each other, we're most likely lesbians. We were disgusted by the thought of physical intimacy with the boys, looking for affection and knowing in women.
I remember my first online crush, let's call her Daria. She was besides a “feminist”. We were 15. She invited me to registry on a website that was then called “innastrona.pl”, and now it is “queer.pl”. That's where we made contact with people identifying with LGBT ideology. It was like Facebook for gays, lesbians and trans. Many website users were manipulated kids, but it was easy to find adult men and women, there were no age restrictions. Adults picked on kids, asked for pictures, asked for dates. any of them belonged to sadomasochistic groups. Thank God I was besides shy to always be persuaded to meet individual there.
Daria insisted that we be in a relationship, and I agreed. I started telling my friends I had a girlfriend. Many of my colleagues then admired me due to the fact that it was yet something new, poorly known, niche. Today, the same is actual of transsexualism – in order to stand out, 1 has to describe itself as a non-binar person. At the time, all you had to do was be gay or gay. The fashion for transsexuality is even worse due to the fact that it leads to serious self-inflicted injuries. I've always, subconsciously, felt like I was surviving a lie. I never liked a woman, I just needed a close friend. Daria was the perfect candidate.
We read feminism together and openly hated men. Daria's father was a drug addict who left his household and she was besides deprived of a completely male pattern. We were convinced that modern girls, if they want to mean anything in life, must get out of the “side of the patriarchy”, this communicative continues all the time, we see it everywhere. We were disgusted by femininity, and we didn't truly know it, we had propaganda stereotypes of “Barbie” and “home chicken” in our heads. The pregnancy imagination was something unnatural, nasty, something that could endanger our careers and our interesting future. The kid was God's punishment for us. That was the communicative of the people we met online and in real life. We took it as our own opinion.
We were basking in this forbidden love of ours, and at the same time we were established in depressing moods. We even fantasized about suicide together. This is the reality of modern teenagers entering LGBT movement. Daria and I were eagerly waiting for the first gathering to take place at the LGBT parade. There were not besides many in Poland at the time, and fortunately the gathering never happened. In fact, the contact with both of these schoolmates has faded. I'm watching them in the media today, they're inactive active in a gay and atheistic environment.
In advanced school, I fed on left-wing content from the Internet. I read feminist manifestos, I believed that women had to fight for abortion, that a kid in her mother's belly was just a cluster of cells, that the patriarchy oppresses us, and the LGBT community has no rights. Again I did not verify these views in any way, I did not even effort to think for myself.
LL: What happened then?
“J”: Then I went to humanities studies. Already in the first year there was an atmosphere of a certain ambiguity: we love everyone, we are 1 large family, a bit like a cult. 1 of the girls in the year told me abruptly on the second or 3rd day of our relation that she was a lesbian. I immediately thought, “Girl, why are you telling me your own problems, I don’t want to know about it on the second day of my acquaintance.” But that was the climate. Many people wore clothes and gadgets with rainbow flags, invited for marches or pickets promoting “LGBT pride”. From a distance, I wonder what they're arrogant of? What is this ‘gay pride’? erstwhile I say I'm arrogant of being a mother, I mean, I'm arrogant of being the parent of my small girl, who I'm trying to rise and who is the top miracle to me. erstwhile I say that I'm arrogant of myself, I mean that I have a good education, that I do my job, that I have any accomplishments. What's the pride of homosexuality, of the problem? In my opinion, the word “duma” is not right here at all, unless translated from English to “prudence”, but they never admit that they are delicious. My direction was besides offered by the alleged "gender studies". The cabinets featured invitations to meetings and lectures on women's rights to abortion, cultural articles, about the request to overthrow the patriarchate, etc. That's what it was all about.
When I graduated from college, the alleged women's strike broke out. Not only were students involved, but unfortunately besides lecturers. They went on strike with us, justified their absences, added lightning caps on Facebook. People who were expected to be authorities, models for students, engaged in vulgar hatred and fighting to kill children. I've had these covers, too, and I've been sharing things, and I'm inactive terribly ashamed, even though I've removed these things from my community. It was a conflict for women's rights while aggressively attacking women with different views. I remember sharing offensive memes, specified as Kai Godek. You have a choice as long as it is simply a choice accepted by leftist environments.
She was besides intensified against LGBT criticism. This includes utilizing evil pronouns, alleged misgendering. For some, this is now the top crime, a form of persecution, a reason for intellectual breakdown. Do you realize that? Calling Kasi Kasia is stalking her due to the fact that she said she was Tom. Ridiculous. People were completely excluded from their groups for that. I remember that the best female students in the year, girls who were truly capable, with an outstanding culture of words, kidnapped by the psychology of the crowd, during these black protests, went without opposition and chanted vulgar texts or posted specified content on the Internet. People I wouldn't have expected to have, and that includes lecturers. People with different views were just brutally ridiculed. It was all so completely unreflective. At these marches, we demanded the right to kill. The slogan “I want I could abort my government” appeared, which meant that “abort” was to remove a man, kill him! No 1 in this crowd always connected the facts. No 1 truly could say erstwhile the man started, but we were absolutely certain that in the belly of the mother, it wasn't yet. How can you be so sure? From online opinion.
LL: What was the turning point in your life? What changed things?
“J”: simply put, I graduated, got out of this environment and started a family. My fiancé was most influential here. It was love at first sight, it didn't substance to me that he didn't share my leftist views. This was a novelty due to the fact that I utilized to never imagine having a relation with individual like this, "right" views, was the basis. He showed me that you can live differently, that you can live easier. First of all, that you don't gotta fight all the time and that religion is specified a normal, natural thing. Another crucial thing was the pregnancy and birth of the baby. I discovered what this blessed condition truly is and why it is called pregnancy. I began to enjoy and value my own unique femininity. I got these stupid feminist clichés out of my head. A female doesn't request any progressive liberal ideology to dictate it. erstwhile I was pregnant, I yet started reasoning and listening to the another side's opinion. It turned out to be sensible. I utilized to be based on subjective summaries of reality presented by left-wing radicals from abortion and LGBT. It has nothing to do with the truth. I've taken a serious reflection on abortion issues, found many large pro-life organizations that work in different ways and do good things. I went back to the roots, to the faith, to the Church, to prayer on the rosary, to all that gives me a sense of security. For the first time in years, I am happy and fulfilled in all way.
The item of my life was talking to any of my friends. I was 5 months pregnant, and it was hard to get a job. And all my friends said that in order to be able to make better money and realize myself as a woman, I should have an abortion. It was a turning point, abruptly something started to concern me and my baby directly. They offered to kill my baby, my small girl! It's like the thunder went through my head... They were long-standing relationships, but at that point, I just ended them. I've lost contact, and I don't regret it.
LL: How do you measure the pro-abortion environment?
"J": These are mainly groups of women with very low satisfaction with life and very pessimistic women, anti-anti-life, anti-natalist. Women who very easy cross people off learned that at a teenage age and did not grow out of it. They frequently despise men for deficiency of fatherly authority. They don't always say sharp words, but being in this environment feels like you can stick to anything in the behaviour of men. Today, there has been specified a level of absurdity that looking at them is already harassment, and good gestures from men (although beginning the door) are assault. These women are kind of addicted to this militant attitude. Being a feminist, you conflict with reality all the time, you find something to improve at all step and effort to do it aggressively and absolutely uncompromisingly. If anyone has different views, it is an insult to majesty, sexism, homophobia and transphobia. For them, the fight never ends, all day they wake up with a militant attitude towards all those with different views, convinced that they are all plotting against them and they must fight, fight, fight. It's a life-sucking force of rage on the world. erstwhile I was in these groups, I was always tense, couldn't breathe a full breast. I felt subconsciously that I was doing it against myself and against the feminine nature, which is gentler and calmer. And he doesn't want to kill. Fighting for women's rights, I forgot about human rights.
LL: Finally, what would you like to tell young girls to keep them from what you've been through?
“J”: Teenage rebellion is understandable, but it is worth considering what a turning distant from the values that the household has given us. Isn't that a resignation from what's been my luck so far? Can't I truly find the support I've received so far in the family? Is it worth giving it all up after 1 bad advice from someone? Does speaking against household values give you a thrill? Think about why. What do you like about it, too the applause of your friends? Is that any benefit to you? Feminism is truly a fierce, hateful fight. Are you ready for this? If you feel lonely and misunderstood, think about whether it is worth visiting a specialist or just talking to individual you trust. effort looking for aid if you request aid and remember that a group of friends are not intellectual wellness professionals. You haven't lived in a cult so far, but in a family, in a community that cares about your welfare, your happiness, your love. And if you're gone, you can always go back to your roots. actual friends will support you.
Laura Lipińska spoke
