Recently, it became public about a speech by Przemysław Czarnek, who spoke to his parents before the upcoming presidential election. He claimed that they had all right to anticipate their adults to vote according to their views. We didn't talk at the tables with our kids. We didn't tell them what the situation was. We did not require them to vote as needed, and we have parental power - he spoke with an elevated voice.
RECLAMA
"We're the ones who pay them for the stands and the apartments"
According to the erstwhile Minister of Education, parents may have specified requirements due to the fact that they support their children. "We pay them for the stands, for the apartments, buy them cars, pants, sneakers, pay them for the trips and do whatever they want, so let's demand," he said.
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Can adults truly have specified requirements? We asked Anna Chmielewski about the opinion. Parents, frequently adults, have different privileges. They pay, so they want to interfere in the child's beliefs and views, anticipate to make choices in accordance with their values and decide on many issues. This situation is becoming peculiarly hard for the child. On the 1 hand, he has a large desire for his own independence, on the another hand he lives in a sense of dependence, the necessity to do the will of his parents, and besides showing gratitude - he notes in his conversation with eChild.pl
"Maintenance not valid for inspection"
The expert points out that parents partially or wholly holding a kid cannot claim the right to interfere in his life.
Expectations or requirements should focus only on the functioning of the home and areas of common life - sharing of household responsibilities, rules on order management, meals or financial management. Maintaining does not entitle the kid to control another areas of life
- notes.
"This can lead to severe stress, stress and a decrease in well-being"
Anna Chmielewski emphasizes that a parent cannot anticipate an adult kid to consider his values as his own or make individual choices or vote according to his will. Importantly, giving financial support to a kid should never lead to border crossings. It is besides crucial that the kid does not feel obliged to meet the expectations of his parents.
"Trying to hide your own opinion and lifestyle can lead to strong stress, emotional tensions and reduced well-being. It is good to explain in the household the issue of providing financial support, receiving costly gifts or holidays, uncovering space to ask for a possible return. Establishing the rules will not only guarantee comfort for both parties, but besides prevent possible conflicts - the expert concludes.
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